fruitfulness

this girl doesn't learn best at home alone

this girl doesn't make art in a bar

"I will tell you what I have learned myself. For me, a long five or six mile walk helps. And one must go alone and every day."  - Brenda Ueland

Introversion has garnered increased press in recent years.  (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking - 2012, The Happy Introvert – 2009).  Considering introversion/extroversion, I usually consider what setting re-charges someone.  While an extrovert may be invigorated by meeting many new people in a short period of time, an introvert might feel most alive during times of solitude.

One aspect of introversion and extroversion that is sometimes overlooked is our response to a multi-sensory world.  My roommate is a teacher—a job that includes working with a classroom of teens, multi-tasking, doing on-the-spot thinking.  This is in contrast to my work, which is 1-on-1 work I can plan ahead for and complete slowly with older adults.  To me, the thought of walking through a high school cafeteria and the accompanying noise, rush and lighting, is enough to make me want to take a nap.  Whereas I could imagine that for someone else, the thought of focusing on one art project for a long period of time could induce yawns.   

How about you?  Do you enjoy crunchy or chewy food?  Chew gum?  Tap your fingers or feet during a meeting?  Enjoy areas of loud music and talking?  Prefer roller coasters?  Do other people help to focus your attention?  Do you prefer not to re-watch a movie you have watched before?  Do you get restless if you stay home for too long?  Do you find music moving?  Are you irritated by people who seem to say things just to shock?   Do you notice smells more than other people? 

Certain sensory strategies are normalized in our culture, which we use to achieve appropriate levels of alertness.  A coffee or cigarette break.  Running.  Cooking.  Dancing to music in a bar.  Listening to music on our commute.  We seek to experience or avoid particular sensory experiences to regulate ourselves within our environments.  Research has identified some correlation between the extrovert and the sensory seeking personality, and the introvert and the sensory avoiding. 

Certainly, no human could or should be strictly defined by the markers of introvert or extrovert.  To quote Albus Dumbledore, “It is our choices…that show what we truly are.”  Upon reflection (that’s what we intro’s do, after all), I find that my roommate and I engage in activities contrary to our usual nature in favor of things we deem worthwhile.  She is a teacher of English – which involves the world of reading and reflection more natural for us introverts.  She engages in periods of quiet reflection and prayer.  As someone who seeks times of solitude, I also enjoy meeting new people, having new experiences, and hosting gatherings.

However, I do think our sensory preferences guide and reinforce our introvert/extrovert tendencies.  The question of the primacy of the chicken vs. the egg seems relevant:  Is the pianist initially attracted by playing piano music or by spending a prolonged period of time alone?  I like art museums, but surely one appeal is that they are generally spacious, quiet places with natural lighting (the antithesis, shall we say, of bars—which I have never favored).

Working with older adults with dementia, I am reminded of the importance of sensory inputs including music and tone of voice.  These inputs are also highlighted in the sensory environments of childhood: the colors of a room, feelings of stuffed animals, sound of a parent's voice.  In early or late years of life, these things come into focus.  But in between, I think they can give us insight, too.

Do you identify as an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between?  At various times in your life, have you have tended towards different ends of the spectrum?  Or even, at different times of the day or week?  What sensory strategies do you use during your workday?  During leisure time?  Do you encounter any challenges in relationships with people of differing socialization preferences?  If so, how do you respond to these challenges? Are there ways that you show respect to others and to yourself?  

probably quiet music playing, right?

"There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness.  Success comes from strength, control, and respectability.  Fruitfulness, however, comes from weakness and vulnerability." - Henri Nouwen (illustration above)

"The heart is never 'successful.'  It does not want power, honors, privilege, or efficiency; it seeks a personal relationship with another, a communion of hearts, which is the to-and-fro of love.  This opening of the heart implies vulnerability and the offering of our needs and weaknesses.  The heart gives and receives but above all, it gives." - Jean Vanier

When I say it's You I like

I feel pretty disconnected from kids today.  I work in a nursing home, I socialize with peers, I don’t have any little family members around.  Where I would once cast a skeptical eye, I find myself associating more with those who see a baby as a complete marvel, as they are enraptured with the novelty of interaction with such a human being.

A few months ago I found myself in a social situation with a child under 10.  I quickly tried to recall rough guidelines for interaction: Be honest.  Be interested.  Don’t just talk; do something.

I was pleased within the past year to find the following in my “Keep Forever” box in the attic.  

en early premonition to wear sunscreen every day

Giving me satisfaction to see this was the thought that participating in art today, more so than the satisfaction I might gain pleasing any other human being on the planet, I might please my 5-year old (?) self.  

When you have 7 minutes sometime, watch Mister Rogers melt a Congressman's heart in his defense of funding for public broadcasting to the US Senate, which was in jeopardy of being cut.  Following Mr. Roger's testimony, not only was funding not cut, but it was increased.   

"When I say it's you I like, I'm talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed." - Mister Rogers

"...If the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children." - Madeleine L'Engle

"Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels.  But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young..." - Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

On being vegetarian

I have eaten a vegetarian diet for about 7 years.  I thought I’d write a little about this, since sometimes it’s a matter of curiosity for others.  And, since there are more reasons I am a vegetarian than I say aloud when asked.  To be clear, I usually completely forget that I am.  Grocery store aisles I frequent or food preferences at a buffet are, at this point, a matter of habit.  Typically, the only times I remember are when a host will thoughtfully ask.  

Nonetheless, here are some of the reasons I’m vegetarian.

1.     Officially, I’m not.  I’m a pescatarian.  I eat fish (rarely).  I eat eggs.  I eat cheese.

2.     When asked, the first thing I usually say is that one of my roommates was the year after I graduated from college.

       3.     Which, I realize, is not really a reason.  By this I mean, my roommate’s motivation for vegetarianism, which was largely environmental, resonated with me.  I learned that the meat production industry is responsible for more greenhouse gas emissions than the emissions from all of the cars in the world.  I also thought about the inefficient use of water, feed, and land necessary for livestock production when compared with the direct use of those resources for growing food-producing plants.  As a consumer and car-owner in America, I find vegetarianism one way to participate in ecological efforts.  Which, as Pope Francis's encyclical Laudato Si recently illuminated, cannot be disconnected from the moral and personal.  

          At this point, the conversation usually winds away.  However, in no particular order, here are some additional reasons I am a vegetarian.

      4.     It's an attempt at solidarity with those who cannot afford otherwise.  A way to remember that many people in the world live on rice and beans, or less.

      5.     More selfishly, vegetarianism pleases my frugal self.  Beans cost less than meat. 

      6.     I felt healthier and lighter the year I was becoming vegetarian.  Of course, there’s also the confounding factor that this was the year I was no longer eating in the college dining hall (Fro-yo at lunch and dinner? Don’t mind if I do). 

      7.     Access to more doesn’t mean that we need that more.  I think this notion was growing, again, at the time I was emerging from the beautiful bubble of college.  College, or shall we say, the Land of Free T-shirts: where, I could go to a sporting event most any week to get a free t-shirt.  Well, at some point I suppose it’s worth asking, do I really need that extra t-shirt?  Not taking what is freely offered, or what is so readily available on the grocery store aisles, is one way to live more simply.

      8.     Reading about slaughterhouse practices in Jonathan Safran Foer’s book, On Eating Animals, was striking.  The gruesome conditions, foul practices, and covert operations of slaughterhouses seem to be mainstream in the meat production industry.  The image I am left with is of a chicken grown and pumped so that it will produce large breast sections of meat, so unwieldy that it cannot walk on its legs, in a small cage, sitting in its own excrement.
      9.     I'm not an "animal person."  However, the workers who complete the killings of these animals, sometimes in brutal ways, makes me wonder how it might desensitize them to inflicting pain in general.

      10.    Reading about the benefits of a Mediterranean diet, I feel confirmed that vegetarianism is healthy lifestyle choice and, done rightly, includes foods that have been shown to have anti-cancer effects.

      11.     The Only Diet for a Peacemaker is a Vegetarian Diet.  http://ncronline.org/blogs/road-peace/only-diet-peacemaker-vegetarian-diet

      12.     I suppose I’ve touched on this at multiple points, although I guess I haven’t yet, explicitly, which is the intersection with my faith.  A faith in a God who creates the world, Who loves us, Who loves those not yet alive who will frolic in the greenery of this planet, Who loves the people who work in slaughterhouses, Who wants us to be stewards of land and living beings.  Who has special concern for the poor.  Who wants us not to clog our lives with distracting stuff.  Who would like us to give over more facets of our life to Him.

      13.    Beautiful vegan blogs.  Thinking about the wholesomeness,  healthfulness, and consciousness with which some vegans live makes me grateful to be one step in this direction.  

      14.     Okay, sorry.  To go back to #2 for a moment, the vague roommate answer, something seems wanting.  I am struggling to reference some of the essence of my life the year I became vegetarian.  I lived in Maine with 4 community members, and I realized that life beyond Notre Dame could be joy-filled.  I worked at a social service agency, as did most of my roommates, and felt fulfilled by service work.  We danced and laughed.  We lived simply, shared meals, prayed.  I discovered how to connect with others through art.  I realized this year was not permanent.  Perhaps for similar reasons that someone might get a tattoo, I felt an urge to make something of it stick.

       Follow-ups:

      15.     Will I be forever?  I haven’t found any reason not to, so far.  I suppose I will reconsider the question if I find my household expanding by marriage or motherhood.  However, I tangentially have known people who have successfully raised children on a vegetarian or vegan diet.  I suppose I will research the matter further if and when the time arises.  And decide whether or not to force my values down other people’s throats. ;)  

      16.     What if guests serve meat?  I find pescatarianism very easy to keep.  Whether a host is aware of having a vegetarian guest or not, I can almost always make do with side dishes.  In the past 7 years, I can recall one case in which a generous host served a one-bowl meal of meat chili.  Not wanting to draw attention or offend, I ate the meal.

      17.     What do I miss out on?  My mom’s gumbo.  I love the smell of hamburgers on the grill in summer.  Or sizzling bacon.  However, I am happy to let go some of the traditions, such as turkey at Thanksgiving table (especially if it means room for another serving of sweet potatoes).  Do I miss out on that experience of connection with generations of family through a particular recipe?  In some ways, maybe.  However, I think the conversations over food are what is ultimately meaningful.  I am grateful for my own family’s gracious understanding of this.  I realize that sometimes my diet means more work and thoughtfulness by a host on my behalf.  I try to express gratitude for this.  If I am to pass down similar traditions, I hope, fundamentally, to hand down such values.  

Whether vegetarianism is for you or not, I hope you too enjoy the satisfaction of living intentionally with habits that resonate with your deep values, even if these values emerge in ways that are counter-cultural.  As I mentioned earlier, at this point my vegetarianism is largely mindless.  Which I suppose is a reason, sometimes, that I like to have cause to remember.  So, thanks for your interest. 

Mount Kilimanjaro, acrylic.  A scene I painted for my roomie in Maine, who had travelled there.  In case art is what you came to my blog to see, rather than hear my tirade.