bubbling cresting breads

 I just discovered a new added instagram favorite, (new genre?): cook_as_you_feel_it. High drama, French, jazz, instrumental music played along to timelapse videos of baked goods baking. Camera in the toaster oven/oven(?) Breads liquid centers breaking, cresting, toppings growing apart. A loaf in a bread pan enlarging, center splitting, the Center cannot hold, liquifying parts of it sprouting upward, growing up, sending themselves up. Croissants wobbling, off-kilter, kneeling toward one side, disability as beauty. Parts of ourselves: seeds, toppings, growing at different rates, off center. Liquid parts of us becoming solid, as our life bends or sprouts or takes or gives air, bulging in one way, then another. Under heat, growing. Not only up but out and in all directions, growth. Cracks forming, the center like 2 hands drawing apart, gradually separating. Parts of us bubbly, fretting and quaking all over from the excitement of it. Browning, glowing as we're cresting. Many of us on the tray, growing into one another, burbling outward toward one another, little fits and spits and different bulges. Quivering with excitement.

Cut open: Blessed and broken. The beautiful intricate web of holes inside, the croissant's chocolate jeweled core, the thin veins of line holding us together, we who have burbled, blessed, squelched, grown under fire, reached toward our neighbor, bust at our seams, bubbled upward and outward at inconsistent rates, burbling, besting, becoming, blessed and broken.

Again.

5/31:

Weeping as necessary part of the process, our wet innards cresting upward toward warmth to become solidified. How we topple into our neighbor, are conformed by them. How we inflate, and then deflate. Parts of us growing at disparate rates. The beauty in the airiness, cut open at the end to find it was not us, but the airy pockets that allowed us to take our final space. Where we allowed space.

Videos made to be universal, at the end, pulling the product close to our face and wripping it over to reveal its texture.

And yet.

Eucharistic bread as unleavened bread. Flat, necessarily, Containing none of this beauty.

But Flat because of what it was not. Jesus' Last Supper, our Eucharistic meal, a Thanksgiving, a call. A gathering spot And a reminder of what's to come.

If you hear my voice, you're breaking bread, do not wait for the bread to rise. Instant obedience. Children of Israel had to leave Egypt in haste, could not wait for bread to rise. As soon as you hear God's voice.

Jesus at the Last Supper was celebrating Passover.

the Lord's prayer: Give us this day our daily bread.

Bread that has been given time to rise. The great blessing of what is to come. The Last Supper. Bread with sustenance. Bread with community. We eat of the Lord, unleavened bread.

These videos are also in haste: they are time lapsed, change does not. Change does not always feel beautiful. About being made. About being called upward. About being warmed by something that necessarily penetrates all the way to our core.